Four years on... from Sita Martin

four years on, past most screwed up stages one goes through after loosing mama (Sally) and now my life is all about me. its great being in control and knowing she's proud of who i've become,...probably 'cause i'm so much like her according to old friends!

i'm giving teaching a try here in italy, and i can safely say i am NOT anything like her in that department! who in their right mind could get so "turned on" by a bunch of grammar exercises...i actually remember watching her do her job(s) with such a happy energy. and i'm pretty sure i saw fireworks when she'd get together with Bev.

one day of teaching and i couldnt wait to get back to my old job nursing old people..wiping bums over grammar ANY day!!

cancer was a ball breaker in a lot of things, but it brought us finally together, and i finally had a chance to get to know her and become more friends than mother and daughter. i cant say how glad i am for that.
for so long Bev and work were the centre of her world and with many great outcomes...some for her others for us, but a teenager doesnt always see things clearly. at first it's gelousy and anger, but knowing how happy that made her i guessed i couldnt say too much.

with so many strong women around me i have no excuse to fail in anything i do. the example of hard work and dedication, and the "less than good" examples in relationships i can learn what to avoid.
Bev cared (cares) so much for Sally and Nuri (my wee brother) and has done so much for him. i take my hat off to her and all she has done for him, even though Bev doesnt really understand how the three of us work, and how tight we are and will always be, no matter how scary and wild we are to eachother!

Sally is every great word anyone has ever written about her, and then some. her 3 kids are the direct product of her greatness as well as her mistakes! we had the privilege of knowing her as a mother and as a friend but also as a human being. we might not have had loads of attention but there was more than enough love to go around, twice! she was also fire, dangerously hot fire! we got it all, the 3 of us saw Sally (mama) the way nobody, not even Bev (!) could ever see.

the only other person who knew her this well was Evelyn, her oldest closest friend. a titan of a woman! she once said Sally was a pleaser, and that's true, i just think she should have been more selfish and a bit more relaxed. her favorite saying was a greek one, "be true to yourself", i'm not sure she always was, but then again who really is?

Dancing with Sally

Oh, my dear friends!

When you stride in the hills
Looking high over lake and forest

When you clamber down narrow paths
to reach that hidden beach

When you step out on the floor
with wild rhythm in your feet

When you stroll in shaded paths
with your arm around your loved one

When you dive in clear water
and kick the spray behind you

Then, dear friends,

Skip and jump
Wriggle your toes in the sand
Pirouette and leap
Trot or beat out a warpath
Kneel and roll in the grass.
Splash a glorious fountain
Glorying in all
the myriads of dance

Do it for Joy!
Do it for yourselves
And, yes, please do it for me,
so that I can dance through all your feet
sharing and laughing with dancing friends.

Sally, 21st February 2001, Coimbra Hospital

extemporising with Sally in the group feel moment

At night time we can more or less switch off with our ears eyes and other senses but during the day it is not so easy.

We could certainly not switch off them off in Portugal. The light was too beautiful, the custard tarts too tasty and the company too much fun.

That Sally was in a wheel chair, had a neck brace, metal work in her jaw and a history of being very ill, will have resonating with us in different ways.

I wonder if this was group feel and not group think.

What were our responses to that. Well we all did our best to be helpful and we attended in our own small ways to meeting her needs. Carrying her up the steps, pushing her up the hill ...

And she met us more than half way with her vivacity and courage and fun and cheek:-). She didn't shy away from her fragile condition and she gave us access to her world through being with us and challenging us both intellectually and emotionally.

The sensitivity and finesse with which we were invited as emotional human beings to 'be' with her and her daughter during those days was something I think we were all challenged by.

Whether or not we talked about it or thought about it together, Sally had us extemporising with her and each other in a very precious way. What a gift

Alasdair Honeyman, 16th September 2003

i keep seeing little sayings that could apply so to Sally

Life is not measured in the number of breaths, we take but in the number of moments that take our breath away.

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. Roger Miller

Live in the past the present and the future. Charles Dickens

and

To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch....to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have suceeded! Emerson

What riches we celebrate and what a loss we still feel. How can it be a year when there are times when I can her you speaking and times when it all still feels so painfully fresh. Dear dear girl. With all my love to you Sally.

Barbie

Here a prose I made on the 12th of Januar 2001

Sally Jane Mavor
always at a voyage of discovery.

a spotless sky, golden sun
a day, as never has been before,
august of the year 2000.

we discovered Mac?o a silent waterspot
swimming to the source, fiery rocks
a small waterfall, a clear creek
we were in love for many ours
fish flounderd lovely around us.

on a rock, space for a lot, immense, impressive
there we dreamed, my hand held her soft,
a strong granite.

"hans my back is hurting me,
my back srings me"

what did we know ? that unkown pain !

stream floated us listless to the bank
her pain stayed, more, less, less
more and more, too much
eminently present.

strong, laughing, scottish strength
Sally Mavor, fire, water and air
truly optimistic her broad smile
you shared your sickness with all of us
your wish to be at home together

sunday the 7 th of januar 2001
a portuguese spring day
"laho azul", brillant sun,
a picknick by the banks of a full zezere lake,
a weelchair ride,
a walk with your mother, brother
sister, your kids
and aac your beloved ones.


your sparkling blue eyes
like YOUR zezere lake
that clear water,
your great love
and at the end your beloved happiness.

hans fromme

Bissau-2003

Para ti Sally que j? n?o est?s aqui e onde quer que estejas, todo o meu carinho, ternura e um grande respeito pela grande mulher que tu foste e que nos mostraste o que ? "uma for?a da natureza": TU!

No domingo passado em que as tuas cinzas se juntaram ? agua eu tamb?m fui para dentro de um rio da Guin? e fiz o meu ritual para que a ?gua e os seus deuses te recebam.

Obrigada Sally por ter tido o privil?gio de te conhecer.
Descansa em paz!

Paula da Costa

Fortunate having you as a colleague,
fellow learner, tutor
- passionate about education and learning.

I learnt a lot
and continue learning now
from your ideas and example.

Thank you, Sally.

Bill

Sally, the Sanskrit poem I have above my desk and which I read from you.

Look well to this day ...

for it is life
the very best of life
in its brief course lie all
the realities and truths of existence
the joy of growth
the splendour of action,
the glory of power,

For yesterday is but a memory ...

and tomorrow is only a vision
but today if well-lived, makes
every yesterday a memory of happiness
and every tomorrow a vision of hope
look well therefore to this day.

Bev

Posted by bevtrayner at 2:44 PM GMT

Updated: Sunday, 28 March 2004 3:27 PM GMT

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