four years on, past most screwed up stages one goes through after loosing mama (Sally) and now my life is all about me. its great being in control and knowing she's proud of who i've become,...probably 'cause i'm so much like her according to old friends!
i'm giving teaching a try here in italy, and i can safely say i am NOT anything like her in that department! who in their right mind could get so "turned on" by a bunch of grammar exercises...i actually remember watching her do her job(s) with such a happy energy. and i'm pretty sure i saw fireworks when she'd get together with Bev.
one day of teaching and i couldnt wait to get back to my old job nursing old people..wiping bums over grammar ANY day!!
cancer was a ball breaker in a lot of things, but it brought us finally together, and i finally had a chance to get to know her and become more friends than mother and daughter. i cant say how glad i am for that.
for so long Bev and work were the centre of her world and with many great outcomes...some for her others for us, but a teenager doesnt always see things clearly. at first it's gelousy and anger, but knowing how happy that made her i guessed i couldnt say too much.
with so many strong women around me i have no excuse to fail in anything i do. the example of hard work and dedication, and the "less than good" examples in relationships i can learn what to avoid.
Bev cared (cares) so much for Sally and Nuri (my wee brother) and has done so much for him. i take my hat off to her and all she has done for him, even though Bev doesnt really understand how the three of us work, and how tight we are and will always be, no matter how scary and wild we are to eachother!
Sally is every great word anyone has ever written about her, and then some. her 3 kids are the direct product of her greatness as well as her mistakes! we had the privilege of knowing her as a mother and as a friend but also as a human being. we might not have had loads of attention but there was more than enough love to go around, twice! she was also fire, dangerously hot fire! we got it all, the 3 of us saw Sally (mama) the way nobody, not even Bev (!) could ever see.
the only other person who knew her this well was Evelyn, her oldest closest friend. a titan of a woman! she once said Sally was a pleaser, and that's true, i just think she should have been more selfish and a bit more relaxed. her favorite saying was a greek one, "be true to yourself", i'm not sure she always was, but then again who really is?